Breathe Again

I carried that prison 

Right into the wilderness 

That’s why it was so miserable 

I found comfort in the slavery 

Freedom in forced labour 

Now I don’t know what my muscles are for 

And where do I go? 

And who are you, really? 

The God over my slave years 

The God who freed me 

Who are you now? 

Is that who you’ve always been? 

The God who let me be enslaved 

Is the same God who freed me 

Being free’s not as easy as I thought 

I hate the choices, hate the endless cost 

Disappointing dreams that kept me living in Egypt 

Could be realised here, but I’m too scared to realise them 

Been beat down so long, treated like a dog 

Do I have any home? 

Is there anywhere I belong? 

My soul's been flattened like dust in the earth 

All I can do now is float 

My life’s in your hands 

Whether I like it or not 

Every crack of the whip hardened my heart 

Every time they shouted, I felt your absence 

Am I supposed to believe now that you’ve parted the waters? 

I don’t even know who I belong to anymore 

Condemn me for doubting, fine 

I’ve lost all my faith 

Still reeking of shame 

Of what I did as a slave 

What they made me do 

Who they said I was 

Now I’m here with you,

Blowing on this dust 

And saying, breathe again 

Dry bones, breathe again 

But I don’t want to breathe again 

If resurrection comes with memories I’d rather forget?

A chance to lose it all again?

I’d rather forget 

What is the psalm ending? 

To make this God-breathed?

I want to love you 

But I’m drowning in freedom 

I can’t sleep as my fate hangs above me, unresolved 

Counting on you to shoulder it all 

And I hope you’ll come through 

Like you did before

Every step to this place 

Was a door 

Opened 

by you