Back to You

Back to You

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Somewhere along the way, the warm hearth of my fire dwindled to smouldering ash,

And the walls have grown cold, hardly shelter from the winter’s winds. 

Cold has its way of seeping into all things, 

No material object offers any comfort anymore. 

And no matter where I am and what I’m doing, it’s harsh, 

It’s striving. It’s miserable. I am aching and weary and it’s been cold for so long, I’ve almost forgotten the comfort of your warmth. 

I wonder how I’ve managed to survive this long in a freezing cold world, desperate to conserve energy and resources because I have no idea when I’ll ever see harvest again. 

All it takes is a warm breeze of spring to colour the air, a hint of fragrance to remember. 

And suddenly I’m back there. In the place where my heart burned for you. And I’d do whatever it took to stoke the fire. 

When did my heart grow so hard? When did bitterness sink its claws into my innocence and age me? When did I get this tired, and sad, and heartbroken? 

When did my heart stop beating? How have I survived all this time without warmth? 

The frigid cold has frozen my heart solid and it refuses to thaw. It put an ice sheet of barrenness between me and any friend. It choked all my fruit. It mummified my roots and I no longer grow. 

I’m trapped in this snow waiting for my heart to finally fail and succumb to the frostbite. 

It feels like I’ve been this way forever, but my mind wanders to a memory of your warmth and it’s all I need to remember life can be beautiful. 

And it’s enough to make my heart start to beat harder. The passion begin to stir. The desperation for your love awakens in my soul and hot tears begin to cut through the cold. 

I will not let this winter turn me to stone. I will not let my concrete heart be all I know. I will not let the walls I’ve built cut off my roads to you. 

This battle doesn’t belong to me but it doesn’t mean I won’t fight to get to you. 

Stimulate my senses with reminders of your springtime beauty until it consumes me. Turn my heart back to flesh and let it be one with you. 

Show me how to live in those unforced rhythms of grace from long ago. Remind me of love’s nature and let me cash in the treasure I already hold. 

Bring me, quickly, desperately, urgently, swiftly back to you.